1. You can enjoy a beer all night long.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.
4. A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.
5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
8. Hangovers go away.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.
14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
15. A beer goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
19. Beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
21. You can have a beer in public.
22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
26. You can't catch social diseases from a beer.
27. When you're interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.
28. A beer is always satisfying.
29. A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.
30. A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.
31. A beer does not come with in-laws.
32. No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.
33. To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.
34. All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.
35. Beer doesn't complain about farting.
36. The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.
37. You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.
38. Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought.
39. Beer won't drive you to drink.
40. You can shoot a beer.
41. A beer chaser is easier to catch.
42. You don't need a license to live with a beer.
43. A tree is good enough for a beer.
44. Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.
45. Beer doesn't care how much you earn.
46. Beer and "ice" don't mix.
47. Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation--it goes along happily.
48. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.
49. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.
50. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.
51. Beer never complains about a wet spot.
52. You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight.
53. A beer doesn't bleed one week out of the month.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Why beer is better than a women
Words of wisdom as in Wine
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials,
scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Tips for the ladies
Because of recent abduction in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation... It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
The elbow is the strongest point on your body.
If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide in
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM .
Toss it away from you....
chances are that he is more interested
in your wallet and/or purse than you,
and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car,
kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole
and start waving like crazy.
The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.
This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars
The predator will be watching you, and this
is the perfect opportunity for him to get in
on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR , LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
If someone is in the car with a gun to your head
DO
repeat:
DO
Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car..
Your Air Bag will save you.
If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it .
As soon as the car crashes
bail out and run.
It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5 . A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor , and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door . Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.
(Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target)
4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.
RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying
STOP
It may get you raped, or killed.
Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,
well educated man, who ALWAYS played
on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.
He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often
asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle,
which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her
'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'
The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried
that it would crawl to the street and get run over.
The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door..'
He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax
women out of their homes thinking that someone
dropped off a baby He said they have not verified it,
but have had several calls by women saying that
they hear baby's cries outside their doors
when they're home alone at night.
Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door
for a crying baby ----
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Why Chinese should not have English names
Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang
(Mandarin)-Dirty
Anne Chin
(Mandarin) - Keep quiet
Faye Chen
(Mandarin) - Dusty
Carl Cheng
(Hokkien) - Buttock
Monica Cheng
Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks
Lucy Leow
(Hokkien) - You are dead
Jane Tan
(Mandarin) - Frying eggs
Suzie Leow
(Hokkien) - Lost till death
Henry Mah
(Mandarin) - Hate your mum
Corrine Tai
(Hokkien) - Poor fellow
Paul Chan
(Mandarin) - Bankrupt
Nelson Tan
(Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs
Leslie Tong
(Mandarin) - Rubbish bin
Carmen Teng
(Hokkien) - Leg hair long
Connie Mah
(Cantonese) - Call your mother
Danny See
(Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death
Rosie Teng
(Hokkien) - Screws and nails
Pete Tsai
(Hokkien) - Nose droppings
Macy Koh
(Cantonese) - Never die before
Monday, September 22, 2008
Farewell to Yun Ling
Well overall its not bad, I just find the sushi dry. There is quite a lot of variety but not as much as other sushi places. The ambiance is good and the service is efficient. The buffet dinner was RM57 after tax so it is not very expensive i think... as this is the first time I have Japanese.
Well, I did not really say a proper goodbye to Yun Ling so I guess I'll msg her or something. And thanks to Wooi Quan for being my chauffeur for the day, will be yours when there is other gathering and when the situation allows... :P
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The moon was so bright n full. Beautiful.. 
Secret Recipe Mooncake PackageFriday, September 5, 2008
Word Play
spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
